Exercise 1.2, 1.3: Uncertainty

Exercise 1.2

This exercise took me significant time, not because of the individual drawings, but the time I took between each panel. The fastest turn-around between quarter-page was half an hour, as I tried to examine what I was feeling — except exhaustion. that one happened so quickly.

Until I reached the final page, I had great difficulty thinking in the abstract. I’m a very concrete person. Emotions, for me, are music and motion and expression. I tried to focus on the sensory aspects of each word, for me, and how I might represent those.

Calm

Some of the words that came to mind for me were flat, seashore, and round.

I wasn’t thinking of the seashore in the second panel, but as I dragged a piece of willow-charcoal repeatedly horizontally, it evolved intoa seashore. I had begun simply by repeating my motions of the first panel, but with the side of willow charcoal. I can hear seabirds and waves when I look at this panel.

The final panel pulling colours out of my inktense pastels. These are water-activated permanent ink pastels. Dragging them along the flat sides, I was pulling colours that I find calming — blues and greens. I used a wet paintbrush to push some of the colour around. As I look at this after, I see sea weed and waves.

Joy

My favourite panels are the first and the last, because of the movement. The third panel dipped far too much into the concrete — My fast moving slashes became grass. specifically, dry autumn field grass, or hay. Panel two became some sort of carbonated drink.

But panel 1 became joy the moment I had my paintbrush out and put the squiggly lines in the sky. Just the motion feels so fun to me. Similarly in panel 4 where I switched to a brush pen — that wonderful chaotic line. Almost living.

Anger

I started to warm up to the exercise here. There has been some corporate restructuring at work which has led to some strong emotions on my part.

I dislike what I did here, with colour, and stopped working on panel 4 before I took it far. I should do it again.

The first panel is an argument. All the shouting and words just overlapping and becoming incomprehensible. The second is when I’m angry — my mind just falls into a loop that nothing can break into. Walled off in my skull.

Panel three became too concrete, but was how anger makes it so there is only one path to follow. Just one door ahead of me. I was so into this drawing that my charcoal exploded into my hand from the pressure i was applying. Quite the mess to clean up.

Exhaustion

My full time job is intense. I work for a major Canadian firm, and I have a fairly senior position in it. There are many days that are extremely draining. The page for Exhaustion came together in one evening, following a twelve hour day of meetings.

First panel was the pressure pushing me down into the floor. Sapping me of the ability to function.

Second was the rolling grey that builds and builds in my mind, taking away my energy to create. Blocking out the world around me.

Third. The chaos busy days, and loud voices overlapping, causing my mind to wilt like a plant in intense summer heat.

Fourth. Exhaustion saps the world of colour, and steals its contours. It leaves me unable to interact, even though I can see the glimpses of things I might otherwise want to reach out to.

Exercise 1.3

Just struggle here. If i can see lines, I can draw reasonably well. As soon as I’m trying to use line to draw tone, I seem to flounder. I need to spend a lot more time here. I hated this — mostly because I hate the sensation of frustration. I tried to get some distance, and you’ll see in 1.6, I think I was able to do a better job in some respects.

When taking rubbings, I tried a different pages, and different mediums. I had success with a fairly waxy black lumograph pencil, but with charcoal it didn’t look like anything.

I have a few fossils, so I took a rubbing of a fossil fish. It was fun then going back in on top of that and bringing out more of the line by drawing on top of the rubbing.